Were You a Victim?
The past few years I have become very good at not having a victim mentality.
When things occur, I process my feelings, look for my power and lessons and refuse to see Life “happening to me.”
It’s an absolutely amazing way to live in Peace and Power!
There is a risk with this approach, however. Sometimes, if the mind is too quick, it can be used as an avoidance of seeing oneself as having been a victim.
This was a big learning for me this week as I came to terms with, and fully felt, some harm from my past without sugarcoating it.
If you refuse to see the fact you were a victim, of abuse or of anything else, this will be the result:
- Since you have not grieved or processed all the feelings, and your body has not cried the tears needed to be shed, you will have internal unresolved tension.
- If you refuse to see the fact that you were a victim, then you may have deactivated your healthy anger which is protective. If and when you are met with the same situation again, you will not recognize this as abuse, and you may not protect yourself or refuse to participate in further harm to the extent possible.
So, I propose both are important: Recognizing when you were a victim of harm to its full extent AND attempting to move forward without a victim mentality.
Both are important.
In my experience, some people try to rush others into “not having a victim mentality” and interrupt this aspect.
Do not be afraid to feel all your pain, anger and grief. Do not be afraid to say “I was a victim of ____”. It is the wisdom of this experience that will guide you on what to allow in your life moving forward, as you learning how to live with non-violence towards the self (which is a topic I am exploring for my next book).
Given I had a hard time with these topics the past few days and bad sleep, I frankly did not want to write today. As I arrived to my cafe, I told the barista that I know that I had difficulty time this morning and that I’d take a muffin with my coffee today.
I never buy a muffin nor nor do I typically tell her I had a bad day (I’m usually visibly quite cheerful), so I know she sensed I’m not in my usual state.
She decided to add extra Nutella on my muffin, some blueberries and whipped cream.
Here’s the pic.
Her gesture, at this perfect moment made me melt, calmed my heart and gave me energy to persist.
Do not underestimate how powerful kindness and empathy can be. You never know what someone is dealing with.
Lots of love to all,
Sandy 🌹
Please share with someone who might benefit from reading this.
Gratitude Section
Today, I am feeling deep gratitude for my barista and for the healthy relationships I now have in my Life.
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Great realization, to not ignore what was...Sounds compassionate. Thanks for sharing and sending love and a beautiful virtual muffin your way with raspberries on top hehe <3